Children's Understanding of Death

This is how children understand of death by ages.
Thouhgt it was interesting to share!

Newborn to Three YearsChild's Perception: Infant/Toddler can sense when there is excitement, sadness, anxiety in the home; can sense when a significant person is missing, presence of new people

-No understanding of death
-Absorbs emotions of others around her/him
-May show signs of irritability
-May exhibit changes in eating, nursing patterns, crying, and in bowel and bladder movements
-Depends on nonverbal communications; physical care, affection, reassurances

Three to Six YearsChild's Perception: Child thinks death is reversible; temporary, like going to sleep or when a parent goes to work; believes that people who die will come back

-"Magical thinking"; believes their thoughts, actions, word caused the death; or can bring deceased back; death is punishment for bad behavior
Still greatly impacted by parent's emotional state
-Has difficulty handling abstract concepts such as heaven
-Regressive behaviors; bed wetting, security blanket, thumb sucking, etc.
-Difficulty verbalizing therefore acts out feelings
-Increased aggression - more irritable, aggressive play
-Will ask the same questions repeatedly in efforts to begin making sense of loss
-Only capable of showing sadness for short periods of time
-Escapes into play
-Somatic symptoms
-Hungers for affection and physical contact, even from strangers
-Connects events that don't belong connected
-May exhibit little anxiety due to belief that deceased is coming back

Six to Nine YearsChild's Perception: Child begins to understand the finality of death; some do and some may not.

-Sees death as a taker or spirit that comes and gets you
-Fear that death is contagious and other loved ones will "catch it" and die too
-Fascinated with issues of mutilation; very curious about what body looks like
-Connects death with violence and may ask, "who killed him?"
-3 categories of people. who die: Elderly, handicapped, klutzes
-Asks concrete questions
-Guilt - blames self for death
-May worry how the deceased can eat, breathe, etc.
-Continues to have difficulty expressing feelings verbally
-Increased aggression
-Defends against feeling helpless
-Somatic symptoms
-School phobia (especially if single parent)
-Continues to have difficulty comprehending abstractions such as heaven, spirituality

Nine to Thirteen YearsChild's Perception: Child's understanding is nearer to adult understanding of death; more aware of finality of death and impact the death has on them

-Concerned with how their world will change; with the loss of the relationship, " Who will go with me to the father-daughter banquet?"
-Questions have stopped
-Fragile independence
-Reluctant to open up
-Delayed reactions - at first seems as if nothing has happened, then grief reaction May show strong degree of affect
-Beginning to develop an interest in rituals (spiritual affects of life)
-Disrupted relationships with peers
-Increased anger, guilt
-Somatic symptoms
-School phobia
-Self conscious about their fears (of own death, remaining parents)

Thirteen to Eighteen YearsAdolescent's Perception: Adolescent has adult understanding about death

-Death is viewed as an interruption. Death is an enemy
-Bodily changes emphasize growth and life. Death is a contrast
-Increased vulnerability due to many other changes and losses simultaneously occurring
-A sense of future becomes part of their psychology
-Increased risk taking in effort to reduce anxiety or to defy fate
-May intellectualize or romanticize death
-May act indifferent to death of someone close as a protection against feelings
-May show full range of affect or almost no affect
-Wants to grieve with her/his peers not adults
-May need permission to grieve
-Suicidal thoughts
-Represses sadness, feels anger, depression
-Escapes; drives fast, uses drugs or alcohol sexually acts out
-Denial - tries not to think about it, doesn't want to talk about it
-Difficulty with long term plans
-Somatic symptoms
-Questions religious/spiritual beliefs