Death of a loved one

Some open discussions on death of a loved one

A.
Not the most happy topic- I had no religion in my family. I guess I believe in spirituality and the cycle of life but not in heaven of any kind.
I've been thinking that I'm very scared of being weak and that because of that maybe my childhood was spent playing army games with plastic guns and running around shooting people and trying to be all powerful. When deaths happened in my family it was a big shock to me, to the extent that I blocked it out- 7 years ago when my mom died I kind of blocked it out when it was happening, even though I knew she was dying it was a massive shock when it happened- I couldnt beleive it and it took me a few days of blindly wandering around before I could pick myself up and do anything.
But I'm still angry I think, Angry at death maybe? I remember being very young and running into my parents room at night because I'd relaised I was going to die and I was very scared. I cant remember how old I was or what suddenly caused the feelings- possibly the death of neighbour's dog. My mom told me "it's ok because when you get old you're not scared of death, you're ready to die"
Which, now that I've written it done, sounds f'ing ridiculous.
Could that moment really have made me so angry now. It feels like that might be it. I just have bursts of uncontrollable anger- maybe at my mom for dying- maybe for ignoring her out of fear when she was dying.
But even now when I think about death I have this urge to hit a wall as hard as I can. I don't know why. Just trying to escape something?
It's something I really want to deal with and become less angry about. I feel a little bit stuck even after all this time and I think it's perhaps because of my views of death. I'd love to have some advice on this subject.

B.
I'm very sorry to for your loss. I'm sure even seven years seem like yesterday And I do hear often people who have lost their loved ones are often angry & just upset, partly because it's not something people expect or want to accept as it happens when you can truly understand why it had to happen even if there was a reason. For many dying at old age & becoming weaker is more acceptable yet many people have lost their loved ones as a result of illness, accidents and other tragedy that would be hard to swallow. Your anger could stem from so many reasons in that sense. Yes, a lot of your anger comes from the fact that death took your mother away. You're angry for a fact that she left you even if it wasn't her fault, you don't understand why people have to die, why people leave so early, why you are left alone and so many unexplained reasons people want answers for.

A co-worker recently lost her best friend who was only in her early 30's. Just all of a sudden, speculating brain aneurysm but still waiting for toxicology report to come back. The friend who never woke up one morning had a 9-year old daughter. I just can't imagine what that will do to someone let alone finding your loved one just sleeping in bed but never waking up.
Hang in there...as much as it's hard for you to accept, death surrounds us but should not be afraid & take each moment to look around and see there are more life then death. And your anger can be used in a positive way from working out harder, studying, and for everyday obstacles. I'm sure your mother is watching you from heaven praying the best for your life

C.
I also feel terror at dying sometimes, and it makes me angry and sad that people get taken away from me by death, and I fear dying because I have a little 2.5 year old that I want to grow up, knowing me.... but you know what is the worst for me? No matter how affraid I am, no matter how much I worry about it, WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT, and that is maybe what scares me most.
It can become an obsession, and it can make you miss the life you are supposed to have, before it happens.
The only thing that is left for us to do, is live every day to the fullest, make sure you tell your loved ones that you love them, be good to your friends and keep your estate in order. From there, LIVE LIFE. I often hear the saying that life is not Death it is the Journey that counts. Look, we are all going to die at some point, but what sets our souls free is how we spent our living years.
I'm trying to spend them as best I can, touching as many lives as I can, and being the best person I can be. I'm still affraid, but then I try and LIVE.

D.
I've lost a number of dear old friends in the past few years and been overjoyed to hold them close on their deathbeds, tell them of my love, and bid them a safe journey. All were resigned to their fate as their eyes gleamed.
I look at death as the finale to a fascinating passage. I'm not whistling past the graveyard but can understand a need for an end.
We wear out, and are replaced by others like ourselves.


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